


Unbreakable Vows

by JosephineStone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephineStone/pseuds/JosephineStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After nearly killing Malfoy in the bathroom, Harry starts to see everyone around him in a different light. No one is responding how they should to the seriousness of the situation and for the first time, he imagines himself in Malfoy's position and sees how wrong this is. Then after the war, they are back at Hogwarts and nothing much has changed except Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_By the sound of it, Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad that Harry had something good up his sleeve!_ *

Ginny's words still rang through Harry's head and they were making him sick to his stomach the more the thought about them. He'd excused himself to his room after Ginny and Hermione had turned their backs on each other. Their fighting made his headache worse. Even after a bath, Harry still found flecks of Malfoy's blood in the lines of his fingers and hands and he picked at them as he hid behind the curtains of his bed. He should have scrubbed them harder.

He'd almost killed someone. 

As Myrtle had screamed to everyone who could hear, he'd been seconds away from becoming a murderer. The year before, Harry had attempted _Crucio_ on Bellatrix Lestrange, and he knew better than any of the others that simply saying the spell wasn't enough. Malfoy's previous spell had been easy to block with just thinking the spell and not even saying it. Malfoy wasn't putting his all into the fight. Looking back, Harry could see that. 

The _Crucio_ wouldn't have hurt Harry had it hit him. It would have done the same thing his own had done to Bellatrix. Knocked him down at the most.

Harry picked at the blood until he broke his skin. His fingertips were bleeding making it impossible to tell which cracks were stained with Malfoy's blood versus his own after he wiped the blood away. Not wanting to face his friends, still reeling from their last conversation, Harry grabbed his cloak and hid under it to get through the Common Room. 

Ginny was on the other side of the room, not looking at Ron or Hermione and talking and laughing as if either of those were appropriate things to be doing at the moment.

Dean was on a sofa closer to where Ron and Hermione were with Seamus; they were playing a game. He kept glancing at Ginny darkly. She didn't seem to even notice he was there, and for the first time instead of filling Harry with hope, it caused something unpleasant to spread through him.

Ginny never cared about Dean, and Harry knew that then. He knew it before, from the way she looked at Harry, from the way she fought with Dean, from the way she broke up with him, but he'd been too excited thinking about what that meant for him to see that. 

Dean was his friend. Not his best mate, like Ron, but _still_ his friend. It would be an arsehole move of Harry to get with Ginny right after she'd broken his friend's heart.

It was so much easier to see things clearly without his feelings for her getting in the way. That was when Harry realised he had no interest in being with her anymore. Not just because of the Dean thing but because of all of it. Harry had never really liked Myrtle, but she was the only person he agreed with at that moment. 

Harry waited next to the exit for the door to open and snuck out behind a couple of third years as they entered. It was getting close to light out, and the halls were nearly empty. Still, Harry went to the Prefect's bathroom to ensure his privacy, and this time, he took his time in the bath as he considered how much a few words could (and had) changed his perspective on everything.

It wasn't just Ginny's words that bothered him. 

Hermione had focused on the Half-Blood Prince being a bad person, but even she didn't yell at him for using a spell when he had no idea what it did. She didn't say _yes, of course, not_ or even _I know_ when he'd said that he would never have used that spell had he known.

She'd talked about Quidditch!

As if he was so shallow that Quidditch would even be a thought after he'd nearly murdered someone, nearly ripped his soul apart.

They didn't know about the Horcruxes yet. Maybe they didn't know the consequences of killing someone with magic. Harry scrubbed his hands. 

No, that didn't matter. 

They should all know, no matter what, that him nearly killing someone was more important than a game. Those Saturday detentions for a couple of months were the least he should have received for it. It wasn't even the reason for his detentions. Snape gave them because he was a liar and a cheater. Snape was right on both accounts, but it was the worst thing he was at the moment. 

After his bath, Harry headed back up to the seventh floor and got his book back. 

No one was out any longer as he made his way back toward his dorm. He took a roundabout way not really wanting to get back, even if it were inevitable, and found himself outside the infirmary.

Harry didn't know why he was taking this risk. 

Maybe because his soul couldn't rest. 

Maybe because his friends said all the wrong things and focused on all the least important events that happened that day. 

Maybe because no one, not even Snape, suggested he be punished for nearly killing Malfoy.

Malfoy's chest rose and fell slowly in his sleep. Harry shuffled further into the room careful to keep quiet as he watched him. There was still blood in Malfoy's hair. Before making the decision to do it, Harry's wand was in his hand, and he set a spell to fix it.

Jerking awake, Malfoy glared at Harry's hand that was floating above him as the rest of Harry was still beneath his cloak.

'Come to finish me off?' His voice was hoarse. 

Harry swallowed as he tried to fight back the adrenaline that had just shot through him and to calm his rapidly beating heart. With fight or flight, Harry alway chose fight. That wasn't what he came for.

'No,' Harry mumbled as he took the cloak off and shook his head.

What was he doing there? He sighed, he knew what he was doing there; it was simple. The thing everyone should have been commanding him to do, and yet then Harry was glad that they had not. He was glad that this was his decision and not something that one of the professors forced him to do. 

It was something that needed to come from him.

'I just wanted to make sure you were okay.'

Malfoy's expression was surprised.

'I know Snape said—but I didn't know what that spell did, and I would never have used it had I known, which means I should never have used it at all and I just—'

Harry saw the excitement in Malfoy's eyes and then almost didn't finish the thought, not wanting to be the cause of such emotions in Malfoy. But the next moment Harry was disgusted with himself all over again. How could he take so much pleasure from Malfoy's pain? So what if Malfoy was excited at the prospect of Harry apologising to him? Malfoy deserved this apology and—Harry's gut twisted—he had probably been waiting for an apology from Harry for a long time. 

'I'm sorry,' Harry said. 'I never meant to hurt you.' It didn't feel like enough. 'Ever. I've never meant to hurt you. Not even in the beginning.' Harry really was a liar, but it felt right to say it anyway. Something about it felt true, even as they both knew he was lying. 

He had wanted to hurt him all of those times. He just never envisioned it turning into death. 

Malfoy opened his mouth, to say something but then stopped and nodded instead.

Harry lowered his wand and then took the chair next to Malfoy's bed.

At Malfoy's confused inquiring expression, Harry said, 'I don't feel like going back to my dorm. I—' Malfoy didn't need to know all his thoughts about his friends at the moment. 'Today gave me a lot to think about, is all.'

'How do I know you won't try to kill me in my sleep?' 

He didn't have a good answer for that, so he offered to leave and stood, but Malfoy stopped him.

'Stay, if you were going to kill me you would have by now, and I'm in no position to stop you right now either way.'

Confused about how to respond to that, Harry sat back down and watched him as Malfoy's eye grew heavy again, and he drift back to sleep. As he watched him, Harry wondered what he'd been saying to Myrtle. Did Myrtle know what Malfoy's mission was? It was obviously what he'd been crying about. Harry replayed the order of events as he tried to find a place he could have done something different. Malfoy was putting trust in him then, would he have before or was it because he was likely on many different potions right then?

If Harry was lucky, he might tell him.

Harry's breath caught. 

Hermione and Ron might have thought Malfoy wasn't worth the bother, but Harry had the liquid luck on him. If he took a sip, Malfoy was sure to confess. After all, Harry didn't have to do much of anything for Slughorn to tell him everything. Just be there and say the right things. He and Malfoy were alone, and he simply needed to say the right things.

Quietly, he slipped the bottle out of his pocket and twisted opened the lid. He watched Malfoy the whole time to make sure he kept his eyes closed. After he had returned the bottle to his pocket, he leaned in closer to Malfoy; the words were already forming in his mind, and they came out as a whisper.

'Why were you crying?'

It seemed like such a silly question to Harry. He wanted to know Malfoy's mission and he knew that was what he was crying about. 

Malfoy's face scrunched up, but he didn't open his eyes. 

'I'm not a murderer,' Malfoy said. 

It would have hurt less had Malfoy slapped him. Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Malfoy had been trying all year and failing at killing someone, and Harry almost had without really trying. Harry's curiosity was slowly being replaced with anger. Caught up in the fact that he'd almost killed someone, he'd forgotten that so had Malfoy.

He knew that Ron had not been Malfoy target and Harry knew that Katie wasn't either. She wasn't supposed to touch the necklace; her friend had said. They were specifically told not to by someone. Harry started to say something but choked and began to cough. By the time he was breathing freely again, Malfoy was sitting up staring at him. 

Harry wasn't feeling angry anymore. It was a war, and people were expected to kill others. It was a good thing that Malfoy had such a hard time with it; Harry was just beginning to feel how hard of a time he'd have with it as well. Harry wasn't expected to kill Malfoy, but he was expected to kill Voldemort.

Until then, Harry had never considered whether or not he could kill someone.

'Do you want to be?' Harry asked.

'No.' Malfoy's eyes had pierced Harry before he looked away. 'No, but they want me to be, and I can't. I just can't do it. I almost—' He stopped as though unable to continue, but Harry knew what he meant. He almost killed a few innocent people while going after his target. 

Although Harry hadn't thought of Malfoy as innocent at the time, his perspective had changed the moment he saw Malfoy's life leaving his body. 

Malfoy was not Voldemort. He was just like Harry stuck in the same situation that was much larger than himself. Harry knew he had to be the one to kill Voldemort, but he didn't so much like the idea of killing a lot of people on his way to get there. Especially if they were people like Malfoy. People who didn't want anyone to die just like Harry didn't. People he could help.

'It's not so bad not killing people, really,' Harry joked.

Malfoy forced a smile. 'I'd like to keep it that way myself.'

'We can help you—'

'No, you can't,' Malfoy said forcefully. 'They have my parents, they have Snape, and they'll kill me. They have everything that I care about. I can't not do what they ask of me.'

'What about Snape?' Harry didn't fully trust him, but something told him it was his best shot at getting through to Malfoy. 'Why won't you accept his help?'

He shook his head. 'It's my mission. I have to be the one who completes it. I can't risk disappointing the Dark Lord. But it's impossible. Even he is afraid of Dumbledore. How can he expect me to be able to kill him when I don't want to kill anyone? He said that no one wants to kill anyone, but sometimes it's necessary.'

Dumbledore. Of course, it was Dumbledore. But Dumbledore didn't seem worried about it in the least.

'If we could get your parents and you to safety, would you take our help?'

'Potter, if my parents with all their money can't get themselves to safety, how could anyone else possibly do it?' Malfoy laid back down. 'It isn't a possibility, but of course, we'd take it. Who wouldn't?'

'I think it is possible, and you said yourself that Voldemort is afraid of Dumbledore. That's why he sent you after him, right? Because he can't do it himself.'

'Because he's certain I can't,' Malfoy corrected. 'This mission wasn't an honour like he was trying to make it out to be—it's a punishment. He'd punishing my father for failing. I'm meant to fail. I'm sure he plans on Snape killing Dumbledore after I fail, but my failure is what he is waiting for. So he can punish my parents with my death. There is no way out of this for me.'

'I'll think of something,' Harry said, 'I promise I'll think of something.' 

Malfoy's eyes began to close again. 'Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make promises you can't keep?'

'I'm sure I've heard it somewhere before, but I've never been the advice taking type. I prefer thinking for myself.'

Harry wasn't sure how much of that Malfoy heard because he was sound asleep again in a moment. After Malfoy had fallen back to sleep, Harry went to Dumbledore's office. He had to let him know that Malfoy was trying to kill him. That Harry had been right all along. That Malfoy still intended on completing his mission, even though Harry had offered him his assistance. 

He knocked on the door, and though Dumbledore's dot wasn't on the map the door opened with his usual password and Harry headed up the stairs. Dumbledore entered from the back of his office at the same time that Harry come off the stairs.

Dumbledore smiled at Harry with tired eyes. He looked more and more tired each day, but then again it was the middle of the night.

'Sorry for waking you,' Harry said as he took a seat and Dumbledore moved to do the same.

'I was reading,' Dumbledore said and shook his head. 'It's never a problem but what brings you here so late at night?'

'I was just visiting Malfoy . . .'

'Ah, and I see you are still in one piece.' Dumbledore smiled in his usual amused way as if he'd expected everything about this situation to happen just as it had.

That forced a half smile from Harry, but he didn't laugh as it wasn't a time for joking. Everyone had brushed off Harry's concerns for too long.

'He didn't try to hex me; although come to think of it, I don't think he had his wand.' Harry waited for a beat as he watched Dumbledore. 'You're not worried about him at all?'

Dumbledore's smile turned sad. 'I'm worried about him, but I have nothing to worry about from him.'

When it was obvious that was all he had to say, Harry continued, 'Last year, you said that you regretted that you kept me in the dark. If that's true, then why are you still keeping things from me. Malfoy is trying to kill you—he told me! And it fits all the accidents that have happened this year.'

'I know.'

'You know?' Harry was taken back. 'Then how can you . . . . Why had everyone been so insistent that I was wrong about him?'

'Because, you are,' Dumbledore said simply.

Harry nodded as he did see things quite differently than he had before. He still didn't see Draco as an idol threat, though. Reluctant to kill or not, he was still working for Voldemort, and he still wasn't willing to switch sides.

'He still plans on killing you.'

'And I plan on letting it happen.'

Harry closed his mouth. All he could do was stare. Until then Harry was certain the reason they were doing nothing was because they didn't feel they had anything to worry about from Malfoy. That he was too weak to kill or too scared to. They were planning all along to let Malfoy complete his mission; they were aiding him it—because there was no other way Harry could see it then. Real charges could already be brought against Malfoy for the things he'd done that year, but Dumbledore had kept the knowledge of it to himself. 

'Why?'

'I'm an old man, Harry.' Dumbledore gestured to himself. 'I don't plan on letting Draco Malfoy kill me because I know he doesn't want to. But in the end, I have to die. It isn't how I planned it, but there are more important people in this war than me that need to be there.'

It only took a moment for Harry to figure it out. 

'Snape.'

Dumbledore nodded.

'I heard him mention an Unbreakable Vow.'

'He didn't know what he agreed to, but I'm glad he made the decision he made. I'm already dying. Let Tom think he is winning this battle. He must continue to trust Snape, or everything we have worked for will be lost.'

'How can you?' Although Harry trusted Dumbledore, he couldn't understand how he could put so much faith into Snape. 'How can you trust Snape?'

Dumbledore was quiet for a moment. 'Harry . . . someday you are going to need to learn how to trust a Slytherin. Of all the advice I have given you, I want you to remember this. They might be self-serving, but they also think things through. And neither one of those is a bad quality in a war with someone who wants to destroy the world we're living in. I think the hat was right about you—you'd find your true friends in Slytherin. But you must give them a chance, and you must learn to trust them.'


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was a Wednesday and as always news travelled fast around Hogwarts. 

Angela was the first to corner him.

It wasn't the truth, and they were all focused on the wrong things. Everyone around Harry was upset about the Quidditch match. Ginny continued to defend him, but the whole situation made Harry feel sick. No one was upset with him or even disappointed in him for attacking Malfoy. It was all about him not being able to play.

By the end of the day, he was glad he wouldn't be playing with his team on Saturday. 

Out of habit, Harry watched Malfoy's dot on the map. Malfoy hadn't moved from the bed. Harry paced in the 7th-floor corridor and thought and thought about what Malfoy might have been doing inside it. He only talked about his mission to kill Dumbledore, but Harry felt there had to be more to it. What would need in the Room of Requirement that would help him kill Dumbledore?

Pansy and Goyle had just left Malfoy to head down to dinner, and Harry debated about going himself. But instead, he found himself outside of the infirmary again, and since he was standing there, he thought he might as well go in.

Malfoy's eyes widened at the sight of him.

'I'm not here to finish you off today either,' Harry said as he came to sit down in the chair Pansy had been sitting in previously.

'Last night was real?'

Harry nodded slowly. He knew Malfoy was on a lot of potions, but he hadn't considered that he would have thought it was all an elaborate dream. Sometimes Harry's life felt like an elaborate dream. Malfoy's expression calmed and turned to one of confusion as he scrutinised Harry.

'Shouldn't you be at dinner?'

Harry shrugged. 'I'm not hungry.'

After a beat, he said, 'I already accepted your apology, you know.'

'Maybe I just like your company,' Harry said with another small shrug. Although he wouldn't say it, Harry was glad that Draco remembered, at least, that. He didn't want to have to apologise again, no matter how sorry he was.

Malfoy snorted. 'I'm not going to change my mind about asking for help.'

'I wasn't going to try to get you to.' Harry saw a deck of cards on Malfoy's bedside table and gestured to them. 'Want to play?'

It took a moment for Malfoy to respond as though he was trying to figure out what game Harry was trying to play with him, but he reached for them, shovelled them and then began to deal them each a hand.

'I'll have you know that I've had quite a bit of practice at this recently.' Malfoy smirked. 'Don't feel too bad when I beat you.'

'Keep dreaming, Malfoy.'

Though Harry didn't feel any of the usual bite behind his words, he couldn't tell how serious Malfoy was. If he was teasing or if he was just that full of himself. Harry had never tried to understand where Malfoy was coming from before. 

Malfoy did slam Harry in their first couple of games, but Harry won the third, but that one was down to luck. Harry had never been good at strategy games. Quidditch was the first game he'd ever played and was good at. Strategy games took too much thinking ahead. That was more of a Ron thing. He loved talking strategy; it's all he'd talked about the week before— 

'What's with the sudden dark cloud?'

'Just thinking about Quidditch.'

Rolling his eyes, Malfoy said, 'You're so full of yourself.'

'I am not!'

'Your team is still the same team with or without you there. You weren't there for multiple wins before. Why are you so convinced you'll lose just because you have detention, which you justly deserve, by the way.'

Malfoy gestured to his prone form, and the dark mood overtook Harry again. Malfoy didn't know that he didn't have detention for almost killing him, but because he had lied to Professor Snape and how Snape knew Harry had been cheating in Potions. He should have received the detention for the curse, though. Thinking of it like that made Harry less angry about it. Snape had no right to look into his thoughts like that, even if Harry had been cheating. 

'It wasn't about me missing Quidditch.'

'Oh?' Malfoy feigned surprise. 'Then what about Quidditch made you all moody?'

'That it's all anyone is thinking about. I nearly killed you, and they are my friends, so I understanding them not wanting to make me feel guilty, but they’re acting like . . . like you deserved it.' Harry stopped, glad to have let the words out, but horrified that he’d told Malfoy. Katie almost dying was a scandal with the entire school worried over her, even the Slytherins whispered of it with fearful faces; Ron’s near death was talked about as well with everyone equally as horrified at the implications; Draco’s almost death people were acting near disappointment, and on top of that real disappointment that he couldn’t play in the upcoming game 

Their eyes met. Malfoy didn't have to fake his surprise at Harry’s words then.

‘I’m sorry,’ Harry said. Malfoy didn’t need to know what was going on in the halls while he was laid out in a hospital bed.

He shrugged and picked up the cards to deal them again. ‘It’s nothing I didn’t already know.’

‘Pansy told you?’

Malfoy snorted. ‘No, she didn’t need to. People celebrating my misfortune is hardly unusual, Potter. People laughing at my name, laughing when that stupid bird attacked me, laughing when the psycho turned me into a ferret; I’m used to it.’

Harry swallowed and looked away from Malfoy’s face. He’d never thought of those things from his perspective.

‘It’s what jealous people do,’ Malfoy said, but Harry couldn’t tell if he believed that from his tone of voice.

‘Are you jealous?’

‘Of what?’

‘You laugh at my misfortune a lot—you’ve _caused_ it a lot.’

Malfoy took his turn and then gestured towards the cards instead of answering. Harry took his turn and then Madam Pomfrey came by to check on Malfoy’s wounds. When it became clear that she planned to change the bandages, Harry stood.

‘Should I leave?’

‘I think you should see them if I were, to be honest, Mr Potter.’

Malfoy’s eyes widened along with Harry’s, but after a stern look from Madam Pomfrey, they both relented. Malfoy looked away as Harry slowly retook his seat.

‘Professor Snape’s spell seemed to heal them quickly,’ Harry said as he tried to be hopeful that Malfoy’s chest wouldn’t look anything like it had a couple of days before. He didn’t know why he was so worried. He’d seen the worst of it when it had happened. It couldn’t look any more grotesque than it had while Malfoy was still bleeding all over the bathroom floor.

He was wrong.

‘It always gets worse before it heals,’ she said as she rubbed a clear liquid across Malfoy’s chest. His skin was knitted together by magic, but there was still bruising all around the cuts as they healed. ‘It will all fade in minimal scarring in a few weeks.’

Without meaning to, Harry took the potion from her hands. ‘May I?’

Malfoy turned wide eyes toward him as Madam Pomfrey gave Harry a pleased smile. 

‘If it is alright with Mr Malfoy?’

A blush went up Malfoy’s neck and across his cheeks, but after a moment, he nodded and Madam Pomfrey instructed Harry on how much of the potion to use. It was just like applying lotion in general or vaseline to cut. Only this potion made Harry’s fingertips tingle when they made contact with Malfoy’s chest, and the cuts weren’t small. One went from his collar bone down to just above his navel. Harry made sure to cover every spot, even the parts only bruised, and then Madam Pomfrey wrapped Malfoy back up while Harry washed his still tingling hand.

#

'Mate!' Ron said as he plopped down on the sofa next to Harry in the Gryffindor Common Room. 'You missed dinner!'

Missing dinner was a scandal to Ron. Harry just shrugged.

'I brought you a sandwich.'

That made Harry smile slightly; he took the food and said, 'Thanks.'

'Still not feeling yourself then?'

'I don't know what I'm feeling.' Truly, Harry felt numb. So at a loss for what he should feel that his body shut down emotion for a while to figure it all out. Anger would probably return if too many people came around, but in the quiet of the room, even that had dissipated for the moment. 

'It'll blow over, mate. It always does.'

Ron had been the quietest about everything that had happened. Harry wanted to ask him what he thought about it all, but he didn't know how to word the question. Instead, Harry just stared down at his Potion's text while trying to keep an eye out for Hermoine from the corner of his eye.

'I see you got your book back.'

'Yeah,' Harry said. 'Do you think I shouldn't have?'

'Nah, I agree with you. He was making notes for himself, not for some random person to come and use them. We all think about things like that from time to time; that doesn't mean we intend to follow through with it.'

Harry nodded. Ron must have noticed that Harry was on edge, because he added, 'You don't have to worry about Hermione for a bit. She went to the library, so she'll be gone for a few hours. But if I were you, I'd put that away before she gets back.'

'Thanks.' And then because Harry felt bad that Ron was trying so hard, he asked, 'How do you feel about me missing the game?'

Ron grimaced. 'I'm not cross with at you, if that's what you're asking, but . . . honestly, you're lucky that's _all_ you got.'

Harry smiled at Ron. There was a good reason he was his best mate. 'Thanks.'

'You don't need to be beating yourself up about it; you didn't mean to hurt him.'

Ron got him. He understood him. That's why they were such great friends. Even when they had fought before, Ron came around in the end and saw that he was blind. So Harry thought that he could understand, and he told him about going to visit Malfoy and apologising to him.

'He didn't hex you?' Ron asked.

Harry laughed. 'I don't think he had his wand on him, but no he didn't hex me. That's where I was at dinner. Playing Exploding Snap with him.'

'Did you beat him?'

'Not as often as he beat me.'

'I bet that made his day.'

Harry snorted and then hoped that it had.

#

The detention with Snape was awful, but that was par for the course with Snape. It was late afternoon before Snape let him go, and Harry headed straight for Gryffindor Tower. Standing outside the portrait, Harry could hear everyone cheering. They must have won.

But Harry didn't feel like celebrating. Just a week before, he'd been imagining himself at the centre of that party. He'd been hoping the rush of excitement would cut through his nerves, and that he'd grab Ginny and kiss her, and everyone would cheer around them just like they had for Ron and Lavender. Had it really only been a week? 

Harry backed away from the door. 

How could he have wanted to start a relationship with Ginny the same way Ron and Lavender had? They knew nothing about each other and turned out to be horrible for each other. Ron was too much of a push-over, and Lavender was far too controlling. Harry thought he knew Ginny better than that, but did he? Was that the reason he wanted to kiss Ginny at the after party? Because that was how Lavender got what she wanted, even though Harry knew it wasn't ever really what Ron had wanted. Would he get Ginny by putting her on the spot so she couldn't say no?

Harry shoved his hand into his pockets and went where he'd been going a lot recently when he wanted to be alone. 

To the infirmary.

'Shouldn't you be celebrating,' Malfoy asked as Harry crossed the room and sat in the chair next to his bed.

'Whose says I'm not?' Harry grabbed the cards and shuffled them. 'Since I didn't get to play Quidditch, I thought beating you a few times at Exploding Snap sounded like a perfect way to celebrate.'

Malfoy smirked, but his eyes looked sad as he picked up his hand.

#

Everything was changing so fast it was hard to keep up. The end of the school year was looming, Harry met with Dumbledore to learn more about the Horcruxes, and he couldn't avoid Hermione and Ginny forever. Although, as they were avoiding each other, it did make it easier on him.

Hermione told him she'd seen him sneaking in to see Malfoy one evening at dinner, and at first, she was confused by it but then she was proud of him for being the bigger person and apologising. Harry didn't point out that he hadn't been sneaking. They were okay after that, and she didn't even bring up that he'd been avoiding her. They just moved on to continuing their meal as if nothing had been wrong in the first place, and Harry wondered if she'd noticed he was off at all or if she was just giving him space like she did when Ron was in a mood.

Ginny was not as pleasant when she finally tracked him down. She called him out on avoiding her and scrunched up her face when she mentioned he'd been seen visiting Malfoy.

'You sound like Hermione,' Ginny said as if that were a bad thing. 'No one blames you for using that spell. He tried to _Crucio_ you. They were angrier at you for starting the fight with Malfoy in the first place. If you'd have listened to everyone in the beginning and stopped following him around, then none of it would have happened, and you would have been able to play. It all turned out all right in the end; I beat Cho, not that she's much competition.'

Harry bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from snapping at her about Quidditch. The game was his break from everything else, not the focal point of his life. He tried to console himself with the knowledge that it was a safer subject for them to talk about. If they kept on about Malfoy, they’d end up fighting. If she brought up the idea of them, Harry was sure they’d end up fighting as well. Quidditch was a safe topic, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to care about it right then.

'You can't stay here even for a minute, can you?' Ginny sighed, shaking her head at him. 'I guess I just have to keep on waiting for you then, huh?'

Harry let go of his cheek, afraid that if he bit it any harder, he’d start bleeding, and swallowed the lump in his throat. So much for a safer topic.

'I swore a month ago you seemed ready to ask me out. You were there when we had conversations and . . . just the way you looked at me. But now, we're back to you fading out every other minute. I know you have things to do, and I know you don't want me to join you. I'm not going to pretend that doesn't hurt. You're always leaving me behind. But I also understand you . . . care about me and don't want me to get hurt. So, I'll wait. I'm good at waiting.'

'Don't.' He had to force it out. Remaining silent would have been so much easier. She was ready to let it go, and they could have just moved on. But Harry knew he couldn’t give her what she wanted, that she wasn’t what he wanted either. He’d imagined her as a much different person than she was turning out to be.

The glare Ginny sent him would have cut him a month before. Instead, all he could think was that if she had been waiting on Harry this whole time, what had she been doing with Dean all year long?

'Don't waste your life waiting on me, Ginny.’ He forced an encouraging smile. ‘I can't promise you anything. Even if I live through this, I don't know who I'll be on the other side. You might not like who that turns out to be.' Harry was pretty sure she already didn't like who he was becoming, but he didn't see a reason to tell her that then. She could see it for herself and probably needed to before she'd accept it was the truth.

She looked away from him and off into the distance. Harry wasn't even sure if she was talking to him, but before she turned to leave she said, 'I'm so tired of people telling me what to do.'

After that evening, Harry didn't see much of her for the rest of the year. It was only a few weeks before school let out altogether, and all hell broke loose in the castle a few days later.

Ginny returned to Hogwarts the next year while Harry took Ron and Hermione with him to hunt down the Horcruxes that Dumbledore hadn't been able to destroy before he died. Malfoy never did kill Dumbledore or anyone else for that matter, but he never left his parents or tried to seek Harry out during the war. Not that Harry made himself easy to find, but magic had a way of making things happen and somehow he felt that if Malfoy had wanted to, he would have found a way.

By the end of the summer after the war, Harry decided to stop waiting for Malfoy to come to him. They’d be returning to Hogwarts for their 8th Year, so Harry knew where he’d be able to find him. This time, Harry wasn’t going to let him slip away.

After all, when had waiting ever got anyone anywhere?

**Author's Note:**

> *Quote from the series in book six just after Harry almost kills Malfoy.


End file.
